So I’ve been thinking for some time that it’s about time that I came out. No, not as gay. Out of the broom closet. Yes, time to tell my family that I’m Wiccan. I’ve thought about it for so long, and on top of that why I can’t just say it to them. I mean, I’ve said it to my friends, my fiance, my in-laws - why not mum and dad? I guess it’s that fear of rejection - what happens if they don’t like what I’m saying? What happens if they turn against me, or disown me? I’ve thought about writing it down and giving it to mum in a letter, but it’s difficult because I don’t know if she’ll think I’m trying to avoid confrontation, or if she’ll genuinely understand that I express myself better through writing than orally - I can get my words out, re-write if it doesn’t make sense, and it not only gives me a chance to re-read it, but for her to as well; if there’s anything that’s not making sense, she can re-read until it does, rather than hearing it once. But on the other hand, it gives leeway for the uncomfortable questions, because Goddess knows we can sure say a lot more and answer a lot more face-to-face than through writing without writing a 40-page essay, and even then you don’t know if you’ve covered everything that’s going to be on the other person’s mind.

I’ve attempted to write a letter; it has some FAQs in it, for her information, but I don’t know if it sounds too much like an essay than a heartfelt letter. I’ve tried to say that all she’s ever wanted for me is for me to be happy, and this makes me happy. The fact I’ve found a religion where I feel ‘at home’ with is astonishing in itself, because if I’ve done nothing in my life, it’s not fitting in anywhere, until the last few years. I feel an accepted part of the wider Pagan community; I feel I know enough (not everything, but enough) to hold up a debate with people on the subject, and I feel one of my reasons for being alive is to spread the word about how wonderful and misunderstood my religion is. It’s slowly becoming a more understood thing - people are asking more questions rather than being presumptuous. In my experience, people have either been more inquisitive about Wicca, or they’ve never heard of it - I’ve never been on the receiving end of anything nasty (thank the Gods). But I want to share what I have with my family; I don’t want to convert them, I just want them to understand and respect the decision that I have made for my personal life.

My sister, a while back, turned to a religion - I don’t know what it is called - but it seemed very cultish, and my parents were (understandably) worried, and it wasn’t for a while before they calmed down, and realised she’s not in any danger. I don’t want them to be that worried about me like that - Wicca isn’t a cult, that’s obvious just from the amount of people who claim to be Wiccan around the world, and it’s a recognised religion in most Western countries (if not all).

So what the hell am I afraid of? I need help - have any of you done something similar (if not with Wicca, then with another religion)?

I know, guys - I said I’d put up pictures of our apartment the other day but I still haven’t got around to doing that (go figure), so I’ll manage to do that sometime soon, definitely after we’ve cleaned up because our house is atrocious right now.

On the other hand, I have managed to get my altar together after close to 6 months. I used to have it in a box, kind of portable I guess, but now it’s found a proper, more permanent home on an old blanket box. We used to use the box as a kind of side table until we got a couple of end tables from Michael’s sister, so the blanket box has been claimed as my altar now.

So I took a few pictures, and I think that should suffice for the time being (look at pictures after the cut).

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