Dear People of the beautiful city of Melbourne,

I love you - you are the most incredible mix of people I’ve ever seen. However, I have a gripe. You all walk too fucking slow. I’ve got somewhere to go, somewhere to be, and you’re all walking at the speed of a fucking sloth. No wonder I’m nearly always late for work. And no intention of being racist here, but Asians, you are the worst offenders. You’re LIVING here, you’re no longer a tourist, therefore you can walk at a normal pace. The citizenship test needs to include a section on how to fucking walk.

Okay, I feel better now. I love you, Melbourne.

Terri -xox-